


What You Think You Don't Know

by TheVioletSunflower



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Asexual Character, Coming Out, Fluff, Jon is both omniscient and an idiot, M/M, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:33:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23189999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheVioletSunflower/pseuds/TheVioletSunflower
Summary: Jon tells Martin he's asexual. It goes differently from how he expected it to.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 18
Kudos: 396
Collections: tma fics





	What You Think You Don't Know

“Martin, we have to talk.”

Martin looked up from the notebook he was writing in. Jon found himself wishing he was better at reading expressions so he could guess if the look on his face was more curious or concerned. “Is everything okay?” Alright, probably concern.

“Everything’s fine! Well. Not fine really. I mean, it’s good! It’s really good! But just- There’s something you need to know and after you do… Well then you’ll have to tell me if it’s still good.”

Martin reached across to squeeze his hand. “Slow down, Jon. Take a deep breath. Good. Now start at the beginning. What’s going on?”

“Right. So. These past few days have been- Fuck. They’ve been some of the best days I’ve had in a long while. And- and I’ve really loved being with you and I really want to keep being with you so it’s not that, okay? It’s not that I don’t want to be with you. You need to understand that before I go on.”

Martin’s forehead creased in a tiny frown that Jon found himself wishing he could just reach out and stroke away from his face and never have to see again. Martin deserved that. He deserved so much more than this. He didn’t deserve to have to give Jon’s hand a gentle squeeze while murmuring something about how he understood and felt the same way that Jon’s brain was only half able to register through the mounting anxiety of what he was about to do.

“Jon?”

He shook his head to clear it. “Right. Sorry. Um. There’s something you need to know about me.”

Martin gave him an encouraging smile that Jon found himself memorizing in case he never saw it again.

“Okay. Here it goes. I really like you. But I don’t want to… have sex with you. Ever.”

Martin was still giving him the encouraging smile, like he was waiting for more. Like this revelation was the preamble to some longer story rather than a deal-breaking statement in and of itself. After a moment of silence, the smile faded to a look of confusion. “Is- is that it?”

“Well… yes? You don’t seem surprised.”

He shrugged. “I guess I just sort of assumed that would be the case. With you being asexual and all. I didn’t know the details of exactly how that manifested for you cause it is a bit of a spectrum, but I figured it was probably something like this, and- Why are you looking at me like that?”

Jon realized his mouth had been hanging open and closed it. “You know? About the whole… ace thing?”

“Well, yes. Tim told me. Years ago.”

“Tim knew?”

“Yeah. I think he said your ex told him or something?”

“Georgie.”

“Yeah, her.”

“Neither of them had any right to tell you that.”

“Oh, I know. I told Tim at the time. It was a horrible thing to do, outing you without asking you first. But, well, once I knew I knew, and I couldn’t exactly stop knowing.”

“Why would they _do_ that?”

“I don’t know about Georgie, but for Tim he was trying to help me get over my crush on you. You know. Tell me you’re not as perfect as you look, and you wouldn’t be able to fill all of my Deepest Carnal Desires and all that.” He laughed. “Not that it had the intended effect at all.”

“It- it didn’t?”

Martin shook his head. “If anything, knowing you were ace just made me want you more.”

Jon felt his stomach twist. “Oh. So what is it then? Virgin kink? Thrill of conquest? Convinced you can give me the one good fuck that fixes me up good and proper? Or are you just attracted to brokenness?”

The look of absolute horror on Martin’s face was so clear even Jon could read it. “No! God, Jon, you really think I would do something like that?”

Jon shrugged.

“That’s not even close! God! There’s nothing broken about you. And I sure as hell don’t plan on forcing you to have sex you don’t want. I’m not a rapist, Jon!”

The knot in his stomach slowly untwists. “So… if it’s not that, what _do_ you mean that me being ace made you want me more?”

“All I meant was it was nice to know you weren’t going to want _me_ to have sex.” He held up a hand to stop the question Jon was about to ask. “No, Jon, I don’t mean I’m ace too. I’ve had sex before. A few times. And I’ve liked it. And I definitely am attracted to you in that way too, not that I’m ever going to act on those desires. But they’re there and I think you should know that. No. What I mean is there’s a certain awkwardness to sex, especially with a new partner. Explaining my body to them and all that. And it was nice knowing I wouldn’t have to do that with you.”

“Explaining your body?”

“You know. With the whole trans thing. Where they can touch and not. What to call my parts. Sometimes they’d even think I was a straight girl trying to trick gay guys into sleeping with me. Those were the worst. The whole thing is just exhausting and triggers a ton of dysphoria. The idea of having a relationship where I never had to have the conversation at all was- Jon? Why are you looking at me like that?”

It took Jon a moment of opening and closing his mouth to find his words again. When he did, he spluttered out “You- you’re trans?”

“Yes? Oh God. Did you not know that?”

He just shook his head, still unable to stop himself from staring.

“Shit. Jon, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for you to find out that way. I assumed you already knew!”

He shook his head again.

“It- It doesn’t bother you, does it?”

“No!” Jon answered quickly.

Martin’s shoulders considerably relaxed at that. “Good. That’s good.” After a moment of silence, he started laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just- God, you’re the worst omniscient being I’ve ever met!”

“Hey!” Jon said, but he was smiling.

“Think you can skip coming out to your boyfriend because he has the power to Know anything in the universe, so he definitely already knows something as basic as this but apparently not!”

“Sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine. It’s just really, really funny.”

Jon laughed. “Yes, I suppose it is. So. We’re okay then?”

“Yes Jon. We’re fine,” he said, wiping tears out of his eyes. “God, I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you I new you were asexual. I assumed you knew that I knew.”

“I really am falling down on the whole omniscience thing today aren’t I?”

That set Martin on a whole new laughing fit. Jon joined him. It felt good to laugh after the days of growing tension worrying about this conversation.

When Martin recovered, he took Jon’s hand in both of his own. “Honestly, Jon, even if I hadn’t known before, it wouldn’t be a problem now. Sex is such a small part of a relationship. It doesn’t make sense to me that I should have to give up all the coffee dates and cuddling while watching TV and taking care of each other when we’re sick and everything else just because I can’t have sex with you. You’re worth so much more to me than just sex.”

Jon smiled and leaned his head on Martin’s shoulder. “Thank you, Martin. I love you.”

He felt Martin’s lips press to the top of his head as he wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “I love you too, Jon.”

They stayed like that for a long time, and Jon thought idly that this was the happiest he could remember feeling in years.


End file.
